REAL NCO's

1. Can cuss for ten minutes without ever repeating a word.
2. Can remember when there weren't so many wussy soldiers.
3. Have a spine.
4. Can play a cherry Lieutenant like a finely tuned instrument.
5. Can see in the dark.
6. Have eyes in the back of their heads.
7. Have actually read the US Constitution.
8. Would rather be on the front-line than behind a desk.
9. Have wet dreams about leading an assault on Baghdad.
10. Still don't trust the Russians.
11. Still hate the French.
12. Don't know how to be politically correct.
13. Don't give a damn about being politically correct.
14. Think that "politically correct" should fall under "sodomy" in the UCMJ.
15. Love deploying to combat because there is less paperwork and more "real" work.
16. Don't like taking orders from a guy who couldn't get a DD 214.
17. Still know how to use a buffer.
18. Can tell you anything you want to know about an M-1 Garand even
though they are no longer in the Army inventory.
19. Believe that they do have a rendezvous with destiny.
20. Know that the Cuban military was too damn stupid to have
assassinated Kennedy.
21. Believe that "Nuts" wasn't all that Brigadier General McAuliffe said to the Germans
at Bastogne.
22. Don't know how to use a "stress card,"
23. Idolize John Wayne.
24. Don't believe that AAFES really needs a "Commander,"
25. Can remember when faggots weren't a "minority group,"
26. Won't brief it if it is too complicated to fit on one page of those little green notebooks.
27. Would have paid money to see Custer getting his clock cleaned.
28. Really don't like taking crap from those whom haven't "been there,"
29. Know how to properly construct a field latrine.
30. Know how to do a daisy chain.
31. Knows that a daisy chain is not a sex act.
32. Might admire the Germans, but still realize they got their butts kicked.
33. Aren't afraid of the Chinese, who probably don't have enough rowboats to invade Taiwan.
34. Would rather be OPFOR than MOPP4.
35. Know that the digital Army is more screwed up than the old one.
36. Think that the neutron bomb would be appropriate for the Bosnia, Iraq and Kosovo scenarios.
37. Don't believe a damn thing the Iraqis say.
38. Don't need a GPS to find themselves.
39. Think of military pilots as guys who wear pajamas to work.
40. Have enough BDU's and long johns in their closet to start a surplus store.
41. Think that MRE's taste good. (with a little hot sauce) Change 1 Cs
are better than MREs except Ham & MFs
42. Would like to see what kind of creature "ham and chicken loaf" comes from.
43. Can be found eating and bunking with the troops.
44. Are convinced that "wall-to-wall" counseling really works.
45. Know how to make coffee when the measuring scoop goes missing.
46. Know that it's not good coffee when you can see through it, or when
you can stand a truck jack up in it.
47. Don't blame poor marksmanship on their M-16.
48. Know that cold beer is a great motivator
49. Know that lousy leaders will always say they have lousy soldiers.