I don't envy any of the women who stayed behind while their family members have gone off to war. I had enough problems sending students over there, but I did make sure that my students were as well prepared as I could make them for the shock that they were about to face.
On the other hand you didn't know how to prepare either your family members or yourselves for the trauma and lack of communication that you faced while your loved ones were away. Especially those like you, Gail, Kathy and others who lost their family members and had no support or reasons why.