** I thought you TWO spent some time at the club before sneekin' thru the wire, gettin' bustid by the Military Po-leece and got "road rut" Frakes damned near kilt after tryin' ta sneek back in.... **

Actually, Lumpy, we never got thru the wire that night. Prolly a good thing. Tan Canh was not real secure about then. We just didn't care.

MPs got us tryin' to slip out thru the wire and they were hauling us back in from the wire when the jeep hit a bump and Frakes (who was perched like a Buddha up on the spare) bailed, did a classic reverse PLF off the spare tahr.

So now Frakes is laying in the road MOANING REAL LOUD, MP Jeep backs up over Frakes' laig, I jump out, figger Frakes is dead. Two helpless MPs milling around aimlessly, especially worried because we are telling them that they have just mashed innocent Bill Frakes. Ahem. I ("Doc," remember?) attempt to revive or assess Frakes, knowing he is dead.

Frakes opens one eye, whispers to me, "Tell them other assholes, when I moan and go into convulsions, they screw into the weeds. Got it?"

"Yup Yup Yup. Okay, Bill. I'll tell 'em right now."

Which I do. Right after I jump up crying, "You bastids, you killed him. Poor Bill is daid. You dinn needa do that to ol' Bill, whadda good guy, whud ya kill him for?"

Ol' Bill, he then moans and writhes on the gravel. What a team.

MPs jump in to resusitate him.

Everybody else screws into the weeds.

MPs jump up and chase "everybody else," too late.

They do that, Frakes jumps up and screws the other way. Running like a 300 pound gazelle, laughing his ass off.

You CANNOT make this stuff up.

Innocent (I tell ya) in CT