this showed up in my mail today.
- ARMY AVIATOR -

Seems this crusty old Army General died and found himself standing
before Saint Peter at the pearly gates. Peter welcomed him warmly:

"Come right in, General! You've served your country well and you may
enter Heaven!"

The General looked through the gates and then stepped up to Saint Peter:

"Just one thing, sonny. I hope there's no Army Aviators here. They are
the rudest, most obnoxious variety of human ever and if there are any of
them here, I'm not going in; I'd rather go to the other place."

"Don't worry, General," said Saint Peter. "No Army Aviator has ever
made it to Heaven; you'll find none of them here."

So, the General goes on into Heaven. Just moments later, he comes upon
an amazing sight. It is a swaggering figure in a Nomex flightsuit; jacket adorned with
patches, steel-toed boots, a huge Seiko watch on his wrist, a mostly empty bottle of
Jack Daniels in one hand, aviator sunglasses, Cavalry Stetson, and a beautiful woman on either arm.

Incensed, the General rushes back to Saint Peter and gets in his face:
"Hey! You said there were no Army Aviators here! So what the hell is
THAT?!?"

"Don't worry, General," says Saint Peter gently. "That's God. He just
THINKS he's an Army Aviator."