Camp Holloway Discussion Forum Archive 02 - 05/07/01 to 02/28/03

The Huey.

Flight got this off the VHFCN Net. Thought it was cute and factual.

For those who know what a "Huey" is.

This from a friend who flew them in Vietnam.

Helo Talk

1. Why did they call it Collective Pitch? I never collected any.
Usually I ran out of it about the same time as altitude and
airspeed.

2. Why didn't Ma Bell add more left pedal and aft cyclic? I always
had lots of right pedal and forward cyclic. It seems like they
could have reduced those and added to the ones we needed.

3. Why did they put the only radio (KY-28) that had to be
recovered if you went down in the most inaccessible part of the
aircraft?

4. Why did the pilots have armored seats but the Chief and Gunner
didn't?

5. Why did situations that called for all the torque the engine
could produce also require full use of the anti-torque pedal
followed by that damn flashing red light? (Seems contradictory)

6. Why did they call them Hammerhead stalls? Maybe because only a
hammerhead would try one in a helicopter.

7. Why did I always get an aircraft with a major 1 to 1 when I had
a hangover? (For you non-rotor heads, a "1 to 1" is a vertical
vibration that pounds you into the seat and quakes through your
body one time for each revolution of the main rotor - usually at
a rate of app. 294-324 RPM, and the faster you fly, the harder it
pounds After a while it begins to hurt, ---even if you don't have
a hangover.)

8. Why didn't Ma Bell make the skin out of duct tape so it would
match the patches?

9. Why did they make a main rotor system that could cut down small
Sequoia trees, and a tail rotor system that self-destructed if it
encountered anything bigger than a bumblebee?

10. Why were they called landing skids? Were they intended for
landing or skidding?

11. Why did the amount of time I had to spend in an LZ increase
exponentially with the amount of fire I was receiving?

12. Why didn't 33 beer taste any better cold than it did hot?

13. Why did the smoke from the s**t barrel always blow towards my
tent/hooch?

14. Why was the PX always out of everything on my day off?

And the biggest question of all.......

15. Why does a Bell helicopter have unusual noises that can only
be heard at night or while in the clouds?

Tom Gator 851.

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The Huey.
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