A guy sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog for Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The
guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Sure do." The dog replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty
young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift,
and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms
with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be
eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running."

"The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any
younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport
to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious
characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and
was awarded a batch of medals."

"Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the
dog.

The owner says, "Ten dollars."

The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?"

"Cause he's a liar. He didn't do any of that shit."