You must be a redneck if:

· Your stall warning plays "Dixie."
· Your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points.
· You've ever used moonshine as avgas.
· You have mud flaps on your wheel pants.
· You think GPS stands for going perfectly straight.
· Your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
· You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.
· Just before impact, you are heard saying, "Hey y'all, watch this!"
· You have a black airplane with a big #3 on the side.
· You've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.
· You use a Purina feed bag for a windsock.
· You fuel your wizzbang 140 from a Mason jar.
· You wouldn't be caught dead flyin' a Grumman "Yankee."
· You refer to flying in formation as "We got ourselves a convoy!"
· There is a sign on the side of your aircraft advertising your septic tank service.
· When you are the owner of Red Neck Airlines and pilot of Redneck One.
· You subscribe to The Southern Aviator because of the soft paper!
· You have ever incorporated sheetrock into the repair of your aircraft.
· You have ever responded to ATC with the phrase "That's a big 10-4!"
· You typically answer female controllers with titles like "sugar" or "little darlin'."
· If she responds with the words "Honey" or "Big guy" then she may be a redneck.
· You have ever used a relief tube as a spitoon.
· You glance down at your belt buckle to help you remember Your N-number.
· You have ever tried to impress your girlfriend by buzzing her doublewide.

Pickett