At least this time I don't have to head for the Bunker.

A man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book about churches around the
country.
He started by flying to San Francisco, and started working east from there.
Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes.
He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a
sign which read
"$10,000 a minute."
Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign.
The Pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to
Heaven
and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God.
The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way.
As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Atlanta, Greensboro, Chicago,
Milwaukee, and all around the United States, he found more phones with the
same sign,
and the same answer from each pastor.

Finally, he arrived in Texas. Upon entering a church in Ft Worth, Texas,
behold, he saw the usual golden
telephone. But THIS time, the sign read "Calls: 35 cents."
Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor. "Reverend, I have been in
cities all across the country and in each church I have found this golden
telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could
talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute.
Your sign reads 35 cents a call. Why?"
(I just love this part)
The pastor, smiling benignly, replied, "Son, you're in Texas now.....it's a
local call."

Tom Gator 851.