Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Beaumont, Texas who has recently been
diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort
Worth and one of my sisters, who lives in Pflugerville,
is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing
and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other
two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas. I have two brothers,
one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Huntsville
for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is
currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with
his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute
who lives in Longview, She is a part time "working girl". All things
considered, my problem is this. I love my fiance and look forward
to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open
and honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who
supports John Kerry for President?

Signed,

Worried About My Reputation

Tom Gator 851.