Kerry Mocks Vietnam Service On Spoof News Program
By Jimmy Moore
Talon News
August 25, 2004

NEW YORK (Talon News) -- Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John F. Kerry became the first presidential candidate to be interviewed on a spoof news program on Tuesday to mock the current debate over his service in Vietnam and to attempt to boost his image among young voters.

Appearing on Comedy Central's "The Daily Show," hosted by comedian Jon Stewart, Kerry made light of some of the questions about his military service.

"I watch a lot of the cable news shows, so I understand that you were never in Vietnam," Stewart jokingly inquired.

Kerry responded, "That's what I understand, too, but I'm trying to find out what happened."

This is a direct reference to a series of ads from a group called Swift Boat Veterans For Truth who have been critical of Kerry's account of what happened during his four months of service in Vietnam.

During the interview, Kerry complained that President George W. Bush is avoiding the important issues such as jobs, the economy, and the environment when Stewart abruptly cut the Massachusetts senator short on his thought with another question about Vietnam.

"I'm sorry," Stewart interrupted. "Were you or were you not in Cambodia?"

Kerry did not answer the question.

Shifting subjects, Stewart then asked Kerry about being recently named the "most liberal senator in the Senate" and asked if Kerry agreed that he is "more liberal than Karl Marx, apparently."

"No," Kerry said.

With Kerry's propensity for taking both sides of the issues exposed by the Republican Party during the presidential campaign, Stewart asked Kerry if he ever "flip-flopped."

"I've flip-flopped, flap-flipped," Kerry exclaimed in an attempt at a humorous response.

Continuing with the jovial nature of the interview, Stewart inquired, "Is it true that every time I use ketchup, your wife gets a nickel?" referring to Teresa Heinz Kerry's stake in the Heinz ketchup empire.

"Would that it were," Kerry mumbled.

Interestingly, Kerry admitted in a more serious part of the interview that Bush will be a formidable challenger to him during the debates.

"The president has won every debate he's ever had," Kerry remarked. "He beat Ann Richards. He beat Al Gore. So, he's a good debater."

Stewart mentioned that Kerry's vice presidential running mate John Edwards had appeared on "The Daily Show" to announce he was running and commented, "I think that's why he lost [in the Democratic presidential primary]."

"No, he won," Kerry said telling Stewart he watched the show the night Edwards announced he was running.

Kerry told Stewart he could hold his inauguration on his show.

Finally, Kerry said he has met a lot of people on the campaign trail in peculiar places.

"You'd be amazed at the number of people who want to introduce themselves to you in the men's room," Kerry stated. "It's the most bizarre part of this entire thing."

Copyright © 2004 Talon News -- All rights reserved.

'fraid I'd be tempted to slap the fire outta him....

Lump