I got this little diddy from Ralph Roussell's sister, Diedra. Some of you know her. She usually comes up with some pretty good ones. Enjoy.

Shoofly

Subject: FW: Redneck Church
>
>
> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the
> finance committee refuses to provide funds for the
> purchase of a chandelier because none of the members
> knows how to play one.
>
> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if....
> people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000,
> whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what
> bait was used to catch ! 'em.
>
> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if.... when
> the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take
> up the offering." Five guys and Two women stand up.
>
> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
> opening day of deer season is recognized as an
> official churchholiday.
>
> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... a
> member of the church requests to be buried in his
> 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in
> a hole it couldn't get out of." (Love it!)
>
> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the
> choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
>
> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... in a
> congregation of 500 members, there are only seven
> last names in the church directory.
>
> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
> Baptism is referred to as "branding".
>
> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... high
> notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
>
> You Know Your Church! Is A Redneck Church if...
> people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift
> something too heavy.
>
> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the
> baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.
>
> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the
> choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with
> the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
>
> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the
> collection plates are really hub caps from a '56
> Chevy.
>
> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
> instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.
>
> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if.... the
> minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
>
> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the
> communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
>
> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...
> "Thou shalt not covet" applies to hunting dogs, too.
>
> You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the
> final words of the benediction are, "Ya'll come back
> now!! Ya hear!
>