ATTN SHAKEY
ATTN KRAZ

WE HAVE CREATED A MONSTER.

Need to schedule a meeting soonest and reverse the damage that we have wrought (!) on Mister Ron. He has obviously lost command of his faculties.

You two will recognize the symptoms immediately.

Dr. Bob

: Once I reviewed and posted my first message, I
: discovered that some of you may find this
: funny. The reason being is that I failed to
: use any type of science or math to come to
: these findings. Not to be detered I decided
: to seek out some of the great minds of our
: times to help me with this problem.

: After work I stopped at the local pub.
: Believing that beer kills brain cell and
: those brain cells are the dumber, older and
: slower cells that we actually don't really
: need and that will create room for newer and
: smarter cells to grow then some of my
: friends would be the ones to help me. I base
: this on the fact that as a person drinks
: they always seem smarter then when they were
: sober. Anyway, I found a few of my friends
: who in fact have spent the better part of
: their lives killing brain cells and growing
: better ones.

: From this meeting, which lasted several hours,
: this is our findings. The actual event of
: the Red Sox winning was not the cause of our
: weather changing so much. What happened was
: all the cheering and jumping up and down
: shifted the earth. Compounding this was the
: number of people which actually danced in
: the streets. The final straw which broke the
: camel's back were the number of souls which
: were released from their tombs after waiting
: years for this moument in time. The earth is
: now slightly out of its orbit as we travel
: around the sun. This in fact has caused the
: change in the weather because as we travel
: the earth is now trying to correct itself.

: Armed with this information, I have decided to
: apply for a government grant for farther
: research. I think $750,000.00 is a nice
: round number. I will use this money to
: invite several of my friends to the Cub's
: home game. There we will drink beer (only to
: get smarter)and watch the crowds of people
: as they cheer for our long time losers. If
: in fact the Cubs do have a winning season we
: will able to determine the weather patterns
: for next year. If the Cubs happen to win it
: all this years it would in fact cause the
: end of the world. The jumping up and down
: would cause the earth to tilt completely
: over to one side making the North Pole the
: West Pole ending live as we know it. Of
: course this would be highly unlikely because
: I have the faith that if it came to the Cubs
: winning and the end of the world the Cubs
: would blow it like they normally do.

: If I receive my grant I will be looking for a
: few good beer drinkers to help with this
: project. With this in mind, all I can say is
: "GO PATS!!!"