Each January after the holidays my wife cracks the whip and we begin our winter project. For the past twenty or so years, a room in our home is declared a work zone. For those of you which have made-over a room you know that the entire house suffers until the project is completed. The projects vary from just paint and touch-up to massive over haul. I got off easy this years with a face lift to our bedroom.

I now have the time to get myself ready for golf season. Golf is the ultimate form of self-abuse. Myself, son and son-in-law began our yearly quest to get into shape before the courses open on April 1st. It is only fitting that we begin on April Fool's Day. For the next six weeks we gather one night a week at the "Virtual Course" to hone our skills. After last night's performance, I am happy to report that "Tiger", "Phil", and "Ving Jay" have nothing to fear from me this year. Even Dave Duval which fell faster then Janet Jackson's boob during her costume malfunction from the world ratings is safe. Even on his bad day, he could clean my clock with little or no effort.

Now in my sixth years of playing, I have started to become a student of the game. I just wanted to share some of the things which are part of golf. The word "Fore" is used as a warning to alert other golfers of a bad shot. I believe this word was used to replace another four letter "F" word which is not as acceptable when used in public. Although it does not relief the tension which a bad shot produces it is still one that I use quite a bit when golfing. "Par" is the term which is used in scoring. Par will vary from course to course. I have also discovered that Par is determined by the tempeture and the amount of beer which we drink during our round. The scoring system which we use is number of strokes plus balls lost minus beers drank. Using this system, I have improved my game to where I can now shoot in the low eighties or high seventies factoring in the beer total.For some unknown reason, the beer factor is higher during July and August. Because of this, I have scored some of my best rounds during these months.

I will keep everyone updated as the season nears. The PGA has nothing to fear judging from last night's performance. Even with my six beer handicap I was unable to break ninety.