Bill to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of Texas Attorneys
• 370.01 Any person with a valid in-state rodent or snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sport (non-commercial) purposes.
• 370.02 Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait, however, is prohibited.
• 370.03 Stuffed or mounted attorneys must be state health department "certified-free" for rabies and vermin.
• 370.04 The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed immediately to the nearest car wash.
• 370.05 It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a power boat, helicopter or aircraft.
• 370.06 It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE", or "FREE SCOTCH" for the purposes of trapping attorneys.
• 370.07 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW, Mercedes or Porsche dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoon.
• 370.08 It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs, hospitals or brothels.
• 370.09 If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to hunt, trap or possess the same.
• 370.10 It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, accident victim, bookie, physician, chiropractor or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
• 370.11 Bag and Possession Limits per day:
1. Yellow-bellied sidewinders …………..…… 2
2. Two-faced tort-feasors ………………….... 1
3. Back-stabbing divorce litigators ………… 3
4. Horn-rimmed cut-throats ………………... 2
5. Minutiae-advocating dirt-bags …………... 4

HONEST ATTORNEYS - PROTECTED - (ENDANGERED SPECIES ACT)

a bill here in the Texas legal community.

Dave