Wish I could take credit for this but not, too good not to pass on, aah the daze!!!!

Memorial Day, Wear a Poppy proudly.

Cheers,,,,,,,,,, Lynn

What about Army Aviation's / gunship pilot rules of engagement?! My homemade version (as of this morning):

1. Go to the PX, buy a new Seiko watch, a box of Tiparillos, and darker sunglasses.
2. Stop by Class VI store for bottle of Crown Royal.

You realize you have spent all of $37.00!
3. Return to hooch, party all night - IN SUNGLASSES AND UNDERWEAR listening to Janis Joplin, Creme

(Clapton and Ginger Baker days), and the Beatles' Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Band album on your new Akai, reel-to-reel. Pass out while praying

for an early monsoon season.
4. At 4:30 a. m. (O'dark-thirty), you awaken and hope you are not called by the platoon leader for a mission as you barely avoid puking up your dirty socks you forgot to take off last night.
5. At 4:45 a. m., you get the call.
6. At 5:00 a. m., you find your flight suit and safety vest,

also some corroded CAR-15 ammo and a spare battery for your survival radio, hoping the damn' thing is charged up. You assign your non-drinking, Mormon co-pilot to do the pre-flight. You skip breakfast, but drink a warm coke! Your belch is rated a "10" by the armaments NCO in the revetment with you. You thank him! He replies, "Have a good flight, sir."

Your crew chief snickers irreverently.
7. At 6:00 a. m., you launch for the normal A/O, but find out you are actually going to attack bad guys in a

neighboring country. Thank God, it's a free-fire zone. You barely keep from puking all the way to the L/Z. Reception from AFN Radio is good on the nav radio, so you listen to Hendryx singing "Purple Haze;" it fits! Then he sings, "Hey, Joe, whatcha gonna do with that gun?," and it fits! Then that crazy DJ shouts

"Goooooood Morning, Vietnam!" You, being an

equal opportunity employer think, "What about Laos

and Cambodia?"
8. At 7:00 a. m., the shit hits the fan, adrenalin and training take over; with two light fire teams, you kill more bad guys than a rifle company before 8:00 a.m., return to the FAARP, refuel, re-arm, and stand- by at old Dak-To airstrip. Life is good.
9. 9:00 - 12:00, you suntan, drink cokes supplied by

Montagnard teenaged girls, read Playboy, eat a

case of C-rations, gain seven lbs. and anxiously

await the squelch breaking on the "Prick-25" radio

announcing another mission for the SF "across the fence." You smile as you realize you haven't puked

in two weeks. You think, "I am gettin' in shape!"

Your co-pilot tells you he thinks you are gaining

weight. You barely smile, fall asleep and get a sunburn! He prays for you, but lets you burn to a

crisp. Bob Sneed draws a very unflattering cartoon

of you for The Army Times! God's mercy grants

peace all afternoon. No more missions.
10. 18:30 - Crank 'em up to fly back to home base, hoping you still have some Crown left and maybe some mail from the good ol' USA. Listen to Buck Owens singing something about "Heartache comin' up the backstretch," as your main rotor beats the air into submission enroute to Camp Holloway. Life IS

Good!

Those were the days, the good old days when times were bad, but I would not trade one of them for another five years of life on this earth!

Feel free to share my homemade rules of engagement (or situations) with your attack pilot friends. We got 'er done, didn't we, Lash?

By the way, any attempt to prove any of the above or to court-martial me or any of my friends will be met with "the 5th Amendment," the ACLU, and sudden death from "Mr. Glock!" This is pure fiction, right, Lash. (wink - wink)

:-)

Thanks for your service to our country, and don't forget to honor our heroes on Memorial Day!

Warm regards to Dang, and an affectionate "Semper Fi" to Larue Jr.

Allons!

Don and Crew
gun pilot - retired

----- Original Message -----
From: Lash
To: Friends
Sent: Tuesday, May 23, 2006 7:15 PM
Subject: Rules of Engagement

Marine Corps:

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you
meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start
with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life
is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (lateral &
diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or
tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention
to shoot.

Navy SEALs:

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust Speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.

Army Rangers:

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher Up" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

Army:

1. Select a new beret to wear.
2. Sew patch on right shoulder.
3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear

Air Force:

1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask "what's a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" PowerPoint
presentation.
6. Wine & dine "key" Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry
executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to Ground Ordinance Launching Facility for 1445 tee-time.

Navy Rules:

1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Watch porn.
4. Deploy the Marines.