Pilot Philosophy Stuff
The Three most Dangerous Things in Aviation:
1. A Doctor or Dentist in a Cessna.
2. Two Lieutenants in a UH-1.
3. A flight attendant with a chipped tooth.

Basic Flying Rules:
1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground,
buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult
to fly in the edges.
4. Speed is life.
5. Altitude is life insurance.

Aircraft Identification:
If it's ugly, it's British.
If it's weird, it's French.
If it's ugly and weird, it's Russian.

Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another very expensive flying club.

The Three Best Things in Life are:
A good landing, a good orgasm, and a good bowel movement.
A night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities to experience
all three at the same time.

Unknown landing signal officer to carrier pilot after his 6th unsuccessful landing
attempt: "You've got to land here, son. This is
where the food is."

The difference between a duck and a co-pilot?
The duck can fly.

A check ride ought to be like a skirt.
Short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover everything.

The difference between flight attendants and jet engines is that the engines usually quit whining when they get to the gate.

It's better to break ground and head into the wind than to break wind
and head into the ground.