On this date in 1968 I graduated from 67N20 school at Ft. Rucker and went on a 15 day leave before shipping out for Nam. I remember thinking war was going to be just like in the John Wayne movies and I was going to come home with a chest full of medals. I still believed in fighting for the democratic way of life!
On this date in 1972 I returned from Nam after my second tour, I was angry, scarred both mentally and physically and filled with survivor guilt. It has taken me over thirty years to heal those scars, learn to control that anger and forgive myself for having lived when so many died.
Now I find peace here and brotherhood, these things are so precious to me. Instead of mourning the loss of friends I now honor their memory and keep their stories alive. Instead of remembering the terror I remember the recall the brotherhood.
Oh, I still have nightmares and the occasional intrusive thoughts but they don't leave me as helpless as they used to. This reunion will be the final healing for me, a way of saying goodbye to all my brothers who died and hello to all my new brothers and sisters.
It has taken over thirty years but I can now look at a flower and see the beauty, I still get misty when I see Old Glory and Taps makes me cry like a baby. But these are all good things, they mean I have regained my self-respect and humanity.
To all of my brothers and sisters I say Thank You for being here and showing me how to care again.